So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

topic posted Wed, April 30, 2008 - 5:05 PM by  Rinna
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Do ya'll ever get weird unreal and undoubtably unfounded stabs of guilt while living your JW free - but beatiful and honest lives? I feel ike it bites me in the ass at the weirdest and most unexpected times....J"know?
posted by:
Rinna
San Francisco
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  • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

    Wed, April 30, 2008 - 5:32 PM
    I find that the no-blood thing is the big one for me. Probably because I nearly died as a teenager due to refusing blood...it's a big emotional thing...when you at one point are willingto die for something you believe is true - it's hard to let go of that particular "ology" later.
    • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

      Wed, April 30, 2008 - 6:29 PM
      > when you at one point are willingto die for something you believe
      > is true - it's hard to let go of that particular "ology" later.

      ive found that picking my scabs and licking the blood off on a fairly regular basis does a good job of deadening that reflex.
  • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

    Wed, April 30, 2008 - 6:32 PM
    > Do ya'll ever get weird unreal and undoubtably unfounded stabs of
    > guilt while living your JW free - but beatiful and honest lives? I feel
    > ike it bites me in the ass at the weirdest and most unexpected
    > times....J"know?

    i still have dreams where im still a witness... they're getting rarer all the time though. i usually have them after i get called on at home, i can never just say "im not interested" and leave it at that, ive just got to engage them in a philosophical discussion. that ALWAYS drags my bay.
    • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

      Wed, April 30, 2008 - 7:01 PM
      I can't engage JWs on a philosophical level, I get way to pissed off....
      • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

        Fri, February 27, 2009 - 12:32 PM
        > I can't engage JWs on a philosophical level, I get way to pissed off....

        I think the reason i'm compelled to engage them is that i feel i owe a debt to a guy we called on at an indian reservation when i was young. when my dad was talking to him about paradise, the guy, who came out shirtless and lit a cigarette, said that he had been called on before and that he had chosen death, because it sounded peaceful. It was such a small thing, but it was so foreign to the way i had been taught to think that it stuck with me and ultimately got me thinking in another direction. I feel like i owe it to the people calling on me to at least try to inject some kind of subversive ideas into the conversation. I get especially emboldened if theres a young kid with them.

        Thats probably just the evangelical part of me leftover from my upbringing. I think, "Maybe god sent these witnesses to ME for a reason..." ;D
    • Re: So yeah it's been 8 years JW free but...

      Thu, June 12, 2008 - 10:35 AM
      "i still have dreams where im still a witness... they're getting rarer all the time though"

      I recenly had one - first in a loooong time. I dreamt I was at a convention and two of the people I'd dated after leaving the org showed up and in my dream I was trying to keep "our" relationship from being discovered. So, I guess that latent fear of being DF'ed is still working through my subconscious. So strange that it came up out of the blue after all this time.

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