This is gonna be a long one but I thought I'd share with those who'd understand. I'm posting below, an email conversation which, I think you'll find interesting. I sent my sis & bro-in-law a message a few weeks ago just to let them know they're in my thoughts...nice reply I got...

(names are changed to protect the guilty)

Hi Mary and Tom,

I know you aren't able to correspond with me but I think about you
every day and want you to know that I am doing well.

Since I don't think it's wrong to tell you that I care about you, I
thought I'd drop you a line or two. No reply needed, just sending my
love.

B

The Reply...

B,

Thanks,

Mary really didn't want me to respond, but I felt compelled to. PLEASE don't
say anything to anyone, it would upset Mary. You know how stalwart she is.

We do worry about you. When so many ex-witnesses go off the deep end, doing
things that even the worldly look down upon and can be so self destructive.

We also worry about Sally, Stuart, and Betty. You just hurt them so
much when you try to contact them. Sally especially. If you want what is
best for them, let them be. Sally and Betty are happily married. You
are the one that walked away. You taught them to be true to Jehovah. You
can't expect them to turn away from him without destroying them. Jehovah is
their only solid thing. The only thing they can depend on. They see both
their parents turning away.

You know that once you are brought up from birth as a Jehovahs Witness, very
few leave with positive results. Maybe you are an exception, but most I have
known have gone away to destructive practices and end unhappy.

Whether you believe in Jehovahs Witnesses or not, you know that for most, it
is all they have. When they leave, they don't have a solid foundation to
build on. We meet ex witnesses in the service and at work. Very few have a
good life. Maybe this is a result of the strong control that being a
Jehovahs Witness has. But it still is a fact.

Just let them be. They will find their own way.

Thanks,

Tom

My Response...


Tom,

Thanks for "worrying" about me.

One thing I can tell you is that I have NOT gone off the deep end, you may rest any "worried" minds at ease on that score. I am a stable, productive, HAPPY woman - happier and more sane than I was my entire life in the org! I recently heard from an old friend who has chosen, with her family, to leave the organization (and is also a very happy, sane, productive person) that there were quite a few untrue rumors that had been circulated about me - which, I am sure my children heard. If they choose to believe lies rather than ask me about my life directly, whose fault is that? They have no need to "worry" about me.

I live alone. I have good friends who care about me. I am productive. I am a spiritual person and take my spiritual life very seriously, and I apply the principles that Christ taught when he was on this earth. The only difference is, I began to question (and now no longer believe) that the organization is the one and only path to a righteous life.

I do not feel it's my place to tell ANYONE that they should leave the organization. I would certainly never tell my children to do so. The only thing I feel is wrong is for my children to misapply what I taught them. When I was in the hospital having surgery last winter, not one family member (outside of Michelle) bothered to call to check on how I was doing much less, stop to see if I needed anything. My "worldly" friends were the ones who took care of me and quite frankly, it didn't leave a very good impression on them as to what kind of Christians JW's are. I did NOT raise my children to behave toward a parent with such complete disregard.

I have met MANY former JW's since I left the org. and the amazing thing I'VE found is that outside of a very few - ALL of them are happy, healthy, sane, productive people who DON'T sit around bewailing the ills of the organization. We've simply moved on with life, knowing that our doors will remain open to our loved ones but that our loved ones have rejected US not the other way around.

I think it IS important that people realize that IF they find that they are unable to support the belief system they were raised with, there IS life beyond the organization. They don't have to be alone - they don't have to be afraid - that whole "life being a disaster" if you leave the org is nothing but propaganda designed instill fear.

Believing differently from someone you love is no excuse for rejecting them.

You and I have, in the past, had many conversations about your own doubts. I've come to realize that some of those doubts were not unfounded. I didn't arrive at my viewpoint by reading anti-JW literature - I came to this realization when my mother was dying. I began to really put my beliefs to the test and there were just too many holes that I could no longer ignore them.

I didn't make my choice to leave the org. based on anything more than no longer being able to live a lie. And for THAT decision, I have been rejected.

I will love my children until the day I die and the truth is, I have NOT turned my back on them. They are in my thoughts every day. Any attempts I make to contact them are met with anger and rebuff. No, the organization has created a system where fear of shunning is what keeps people there - it is, in fact, worse than the fear of eternal hellfire and damnation which the other churches use. And it works.

I'm sorry my family has forsaken me. That is their choice. I didn't leave them - I left a belief system that I no longer agree with. I had no choice but to live with integrity for what I believe to be right.

My heart is eternally open to my family but it is a choice they must make for themselves.

B