Hi Everyone,

I just posted this email about my JW, ex wife to one of my community email lists who know my circumstances well.

I just found out this morning that last week my ex wife had our dog, Scout, put to sleep without my knowledge.
Due to our living circumstances Scout stayed with my ex, Kristin, after our separation in December 2005. Eventually we agreed that Scout would live with Kristin permanently and that we would share financial responsibility for his well being. We had a nice house in the suburbs with a big yard, it seemed the best choice for him. I am still confident that it was.

Scout was a great dog! I met him when he was a puppy (about 1 year old) at the Alameda County Animal Shelter in 1995. I was just going there to figure out what was required to adopt a pet and he just kept looking at me through the cage. I took him, and several other dogs for walk that day. Scout was immediately connected to me and what we were doing as a team. I adopted him that day and had to make special arrangements for his care for several weeks as I did not have a suitable home for him yet. It was so worth all the effort!

Scout was a great companion and friend. He was terrific retriever and I used to play fetch & Frisbee with him almost every day. We did a lot of camping and off road 4 wheeling together over the years. For years he was the only living being that witnessed my quiet desperation living in a lifestyle and religious system that was not authentic for me. The rest of the world saw my happy face pretending everything was great.

In recent years he physically declined and suffered from bad hips that greatly reduced his mobility.

I have attached a link to his picture that is posted on my tribe account.

people.tribe.net/tb_swoon/...0b23334400

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed emotionally right now. Sort of in shock I guess.

Kristin had promised to let me know when she was going to make the decision to put him down. I got an email from her a couple weeks ago indicating it might be soon. I reminded her that she had promised me the opportunity to say goodbye. The last few days I had made several attempts to contact her for an update. I was suspecting that she had decided to put him down without telling me. Kristin has refused every opportunity to see me face to face since February 2006.

I finally got her on the phone today and she told me she had him put down last week. She says that the reason she did not inform me was because her father has been in the hospital with colon cancer and she had to make a quick decision.

I guess I have to take her at her word on this, but it just feels like she did it this way so she wouldn't have to deal with seeing me. So I am having a lot of emotions around the loss of Scout and the whole shunning thing with the church today.

I am feeling very numb right now. I am not sure what to ask for from my community at this point.

Much Love,

Thomas Boutte'